The Visibility Dilemma: A Coach’s Perspective on Building a Business in the Social Media Era

THOUGHT LEADERSHIP

Written by Naila Qureshi, Founder of MindBodySpiritss, LLC

In many professional spaces, visibility is expected, yet being seen can still invite judgment.

I have been noticing a dilemma many of us are facing today.

As an Executive and Relationship Coach building a public presence for my practice, I am not approaching this subject as a social media strategist. I am interested in what this shift asks of us as people. It asks us to consider self-leadership, boundaries, judgment, adaptability, and communication across generations.

We are often told that if we want to build a business, establish credibility, or reach the people who may need our services, we need some form of social media presence. We are encouraged to show our faces, share our work, tell our stories, and remain consistently visible.

At the same time, people may criticize that visibility. They may describe it as attention-seeking, showing off, oversharing, or trying too hard.

This creates a difficult contradiction. Visibility has become part of professional growth in many fields, yet becoming visible can still invite social judgment.

The People Who Started Early Were Pioneers

Some early adopters recognized where communication was moving before many others did. They became visible when there was no clear roadmap for separating personal identity, professional credibility, privacy, and public opinion.

Some may also have encountered scrutiny, ridicule, and misunderstanding. What now looks like confidence may have begun as the courage to be seen before public visibility became normal.

Those of us entering this space later may face some of the same resistance. I have heard a few taunting remarks. I do not know what remains unspoken, and I do not need to guess. What those comments reveal is that people can interpret the same visibility very differently.

The same behavior that one person understands as professional communication may be interpreted by another as unnecessary self-promotion. That difference invites curiosity and careful discernment between useful feedback and discomfort with a changing world.

Social Media Is No Longer Just a Trend

Social media is not simply a phase that will disappear if we wait long enough. It has moved from novelty to a routine channel for commerce, learning, and connection.

People use it to discover businesses, evaluate professionals, learn new skills, follow ideas, build communities, and decide where to place their trust. For a coach, consultant, entrepreneur, artist, or small business owner, visibility can help potential clients understand not only what we offer, but also how we think and what we stand for.

Research in one business sector suggests that strategic social media use can support branding, innovation, and business performance, although visibility alone does not guarantee success. ^[1]

Being seen may open the door, but it cannot carry a business by itself. From a coaching perspective, visibility is only one part of how a professional builds trust. Each person can consider how clarity, credibility, consistency, service, and meaningful relationships support their own goals. At the same time, remaining entirely absent may make it harder for the people who need a service to discover it, depending on the business and its audience

Why Being Seen Can Feel So Uncomfortable

The discomfort many people experience online is not imaginary.

Research on the imagined audience and context collapse helps explain why we may censor ourselves when family, friends, clients, colleagues, and strangers seem to occupy the same digital space. ^[2]

For some people, the pressure begins before anyone comments. We may anticipate criticism and start judging ourselves through other people’s eyes. In that moment, social media can shift from expression into self-monitoring.

Some women may experience another layer of tension when professional visibility intersects with personal, family, or cultural values around modesty, privacy, and reputation. Those values and experiences differ from person to person. For some, the tension comes from receiving conflicting messages about building meaningful work while remaining less publicly visible.

That is not simply a social media problem. It is a changing social expectation that many of us are learning to navigate in real time.

The Generational Gap Is Already Visible

Differences in social media use are also visible across age groups, shaping how many people communicate, form relationships, gather information, and understand the world.

In 2025, 80 percent of American adults ages 18 to 29 used Instagram, compared with 19 percent of adults 65 and older. That gap illustrates how differently generations may encounter information, community, and culture. ^[3]

Research also suggests that parents and teenagers may experience conversations about mental health differently. This difference cannot be attributed to social media, but it reminds us that people can experience the same relationship in different ways. ^[4]

When adults dismiss the digital world as meaningless, they may overlook an environment in which younger people experience friendship, creativity, belonging, pressure, rejection, learning, and identity development.

Understanding that world does not mean approving of everything that happens within it. It means becoming informed enough to remain emotionally and intellectually connected.

Digital Participation Can Support Family Connection

Research suggests that online communication is already woven into family life and may provide another avenue for parent-adolescent connection, although these studies do not establish causation. ^{[5, 6]}

Trying to understand young people’s digital environments can help adults offer more relevant support and guidance. Leaders may also be better prepared to support younger employees in a digital workplace when they understand the platforms shaping communication. Business owners may similarly limit discovery when they remain absent from the spaces their audiences use.

Developing digital fluency does not mean copying the next generation. It means learning enough to communicate across the gap while continuing to honor our own values.

A Tool with Benefits and Pressures

Evidence on social media and adolescent wellbeing remains mixed. Young people report both benefits and pressures, and outcomes vary according to the person, content, context, and pattern of use. ^{[4, 7]}

Catching Up Without Losing Ourselves

A more balanced approach may be to build digital fluency while remaining grounded in our values. There is no single correct level of visibility for everyone. Each person can consider their purpose, profession, audience, privacy, culture, and season of life.

For business owners, that may begin with deciding why we are online before deciding how often to post. We can create content that reflects our work without manufacturing a life for public approval. We can also decide which parts of our story support our purpose and which parts belong only to us.

For parents, it may mean replacing immediate dismissal with curiosity. Understanding the platforms, language, pressures, and opportunities shaping the next generation can exist alongside thoughtful boundaries.

For all of us, it may help to remember that the size of an audience cannot measure a person’s value or the quality of their work. A successful post does not make us more valuable. A quiet response does not make our work less meaningful. Metrics may measure activity, but they cannot fully measure integrity, expertise, courage, trust, or impact.

We do not need to choose only between hiding and performing. Showing up with intention is another option.

That choice invites emotional intelligence. We can develop the capacity to be seen without allowing every reaction to control our direction. We can listen for useful feedback, remain open to learning, and still stay connected to who we are.

Social media is part of our new reality. From my coaching perspective, the deeper task is not simply learning how to post. It is considering how to remain authentic, connected, and emotionally grounded while becoming visible.

The most useful place to begin is not with a rule but with reflection:

What level of visibility supports my purpose while still honoring my values, boundaries, and wellbeing?

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Thinking About How to Show Up With More Intention?

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Naila Qureshi is an Executive Coach and Relationship Coach, grief educator, speaker, and founder of Mindbodyspiritss LLC. Her work focuses on leadership, communication, emotional intelligence, relationships, self-trust, grief, and life transitions.

Research Referenced

1. Tajvidi, R., and Karami, A. (2021). The effect of social media on firm performance. Computers in Human Behavior, 115, 105174. View the study

2. Marwick, A. E., and boyd, d. (2011). I tweet honestly, I tweet passionately: Twitter users, context collapse, and the imagined audience. New Media & Society, 13(1), 114-133. View the study

3. Pew Research Center. (2025). Americans’ Social Media Use 2025. View the report

4. Pew Research Center. (2025). Social Media and Teens’ Mental Health: What Teens and Their Parents Say. View the report

5. Coyne, S. M., Padilla-Walker, L. M., Day, R. D., Harper, J., and Stockdale, L. (2014). A Friend Request from Dear Old Dad: Associations Between Parent-Child Social Networking and Adolescent Outcomes. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 17(1), 8-13. View the study

6. Janssen, L. H. C., Beyens, I., Bij de Vaate, N. A. J. D., van der Wal, A., Valkenburg, P. M., and Keijsers, L. (2025). Parent-adolescent communication in a digital world: A 100-day diary study. Child Development, 96(2), 736-751. View the study

7. Valkenburg, P. M., Meier, A., and Beyens, I. (2022). Social media use and its impact on adolescent mental health: An umbrella review of the evidence. Current Opinion in Psychology, 44, 58-68. View the study

This article is educational and reflects a non-clinical coaching perspective. It does not provide mental health diagnosis or treatment, legal advice, or individualized social media strategy.